A sub of mine named Maya challenged me to write outside of my comfort zone, which I’ve contemplating doing for awhile, but only did it after I was dared to. (Yes that is the kind of person I am) (You can’t back down on a challenge or dare! ESPECIAL double dogs!)
This topic though, is in another galaxy. I avoid talking about issues of immigration anything. It’s part fear, and part exhaustion.
I don’t have the best of luck when it comes to being an expat. My first experience abroad was the hardest and involved me getting assaulted. Luckily nothing that extreme has happened again. (Knock on wood.) However to this day I still have those instances where someone will say something , or I’ll read a post that is dumb.
In those moment it hard not to feel alone and isolated.
I had an incident in my integration class where one of the other student shared her negative opinion on my country with me. As she spoke in my mind all I though was; Was this woman raised by dogs?
She ended her rant saying “No offence to you, I’m sure your different.”
I told her “No I’m not.”
I am an American. This is something that at one point I used to hide from, because I really got that much trouble from it. I did this for years. Others assumed I was British and I just never corrected them.
Then I grew up. I got to the point where I realized I was doing a great disservice to myself and to the people I meet. I’m not completely unlikable. I try to be kind and thoughtful, because that is how my mother raised me. (Hi Mom!)
I put myself out there and speak dutch when I can, because I feel it is polite. I know people appreciate even when I butcher it, because they tell me. That makes me feel less like an idiot, and it is an awesome conversations starter. (The convos start in Dutch and end in English, because everyone speaks English here!)
One of the greatest moments I had was in 2016, after I invited my neighbors to Thanksgiving dinner. Before they left, Pascal told me that it was the best evening he had. That I opened his eyes to Americans having good food and culture, which is something you never saw on TV.
The exchange reminded me of a quote:
There isn’t anyone you can’t love, once you’ve heard their story.
That is why I can’t condemn someone who takes an issue with foreigners. I think if they were willing to open up and share their story, I would be able to understand. (At least I hope so)
However that never happens. The profoundly sad truth is those people close themselves off not just from other people but from themselves.
While I will always prefer positive encounters, I still appreciate the negative ones too. Because those put me in a position where I can change it into something positive, make a new friend, and have a great encounter!
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